It’s Buy Nothing Day, also known as Black Friday to a few. Today’s the day you are supposed to shirk off consumerism and purchase nothing, so we’re presenting a definitive guide to buying nothing.
Nothing for him, nothing for her
You want your special someone to survive in a pre-Christmas wasteland? Grab a can of dehydrated water. $10.99 at Amazon and worth absolutely nothing!
If your special someone is into apps, consider checking this one out. It’s free in most app stores.
Did they drop hints about brand name nothing? We’ve got you covered with a jar of nothing. I’ve checked with the manufacturer and you should not store dehydrated water here regardless of what it appears. Grab it on Amazon!
If they’ve been dropping hints that the nothing they want is in a little box, rest easy because that’s been found. Slight application of blue magic marker will make it just like that blue box you’ve heard about. Save hundreds on that box here.
Should you certain special someone be looking for some guidance and meaning, nihilism’s got you covered.
And to look snappy while reading f**k it on buy nothing day you can be decked out in the latest in attire people will incorrectly assume means nothing. But that’ll be our secret.
Whatever you’re purchasing your special someone for Buy Nothing Day, remember that even if you don’t get them nothing, something can be just as good.
Also please consider donating nothing to the website, 227,306 of you already did in 2019 to date.
